starting over.

Do you ever wish you could start over?

I know it is cliche to say but things are just moving so fast.

I watch some of my dear friends pregnant and full of excitement for their first baby

and can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy...

 I will never have that again.

I keep telling Joe I wish we could have genevieve and fin all over again...

he looks at me like I'm crazy.  probably am.

Now I find my time nursing Finley is winding down

and another chapter will soon come to a close.

Breast feeding is just like pregnancy and birth...

you cannot know the amazing blessings and hardships that come with it

until you have experienced it for yourself.

Feeding my baby hasn't been the easiest thing for me,

but I continue to persevere because I love him. 

Each day I look forward to the moments I get to sit in Finley's quiet room, sun streaming through the window, baby in arm, listening to soft and steady gulping. 

 Something only I can do, and only Fin and I share.

Someday I hope his wife will read these words as she rocks and nurses her babe, my gran-baby, and relishes in this amazing experience that only a mother can give her child.

Something Finley will never understand.

It is true we cannot start over but we can stop and enjoy

those gulping noses or the eyes heavy with sleep

snaggle tooth smiles and soft baby skin.

Motherhood isn't easy,

 but just like anything in this world,

the things you have to work hardest for are worth having.