I promised myself I wouldn't stop writing every little thing you did down and your life would be well documented but unfortunately your only 8 months old and life has been hectic and my documentation has suffered.
Oh my, 8 whole months you have been alive, here on this earth. 8 whole months that I have been able to hold you, sing to you, put you to bed, kiss your neck, look at your pretty face and watch you grow.
I couldn't be luckier.
I know everyone says this about their own children but I really don't think I am being biased when I say you are so mild in nature, full of energy but easy going. When you smile you sparkle and the room lights up (I think you got that from your daddy). I have been so blessed with such a relaxed baby as my first. To be quite honest it makes me nervous for your siblings that will follow. You have set the bar high.
I fall in love with you more each day. With every new trick you learn you become more of a little girl. Just yesterday we found out you could slurp noodles. We were having noodles for dinner and like always you HAVE to be eating with us. Daddy would give you a noodle and you would suck and suck and the little noodle would slither into your mouth and flick the tip of your nose before going in. Dad and I watched in awe and were ever so proud.
As days pass by, you get older and the responsibility of parneting grows heavier and I get more worried about my abilities as a mother. I realize now as you watch every little thing we do and try to find your boundaries that I am not just feeding and cuddling a small baby anymore but I am now responsible for teaching, guiding, and raising a happy, confident, spiritual, responsible, honest, creative, compassionate person. I am scared to death.
You have already begun to push your boundaries to see what you can get away with. I tend to give in more than daddy. He seems to be able to block out the constant whining and temper tantrums... I am not as lucky. So, you tend to throw more tantrums with me than dad because you know you can get away with more. It really worries me about the years to come and how ill prepared and inadequate I am to raise a child. Your dad and I talk about giving you siblings and having a baby in the near future but after a day of tantrums, teething, runny noses, diahrea I can't imagine that I would be able to handle anything more than you because honestly some days I don't feel like I can even do that.
However, our bad days are far and few between and all the smiles, and giggles, kisses and hugs completely make up for it. When I wrap you up and lay you down for sleep I love bending all the way over the crib rail to kiss your binky, your nose and your cheeks, looking at you between each kiss seeing your sleepy eyes staring right back at me and your sweet smile creeping out behind your binky. I just melt.
You have learned to wave "hi" and it is something you feel you need to do everytime you see someone new. It makes our outings very fun. You can clearly say dada and know exactly who you are talking about. Mama on the other hand is said very infrequently unless you want something and then its in between screams and sobs. You love to eat with us at the table and eat almost anything we are eating. You prefer veggies over fruit and meat over veggies. We love to sing together. While I get ready for the day you sit on the bathroom floor playing and we sing our "ABCs", "I am a Child of God", "Jesus Love Me" and "Baby Mine". You also acompany the ladies in relief society when we sing our hymns and do a beautiful job.
For months now I have been so worried about you ability to stand up or lack there of. Anytime we would try to stand you on your feet they would just squish up. I thought something had to be wrong. However, I was so suprised when one day out of the clear blue I tried standing you up and you put your feet down for the first time and held your weight. You have been standing ever since.
I always assumed you would be ahead of the curve when it came to development because you are Joe's daughter and all of your cousins have been crawling at 5 months, walking at 8 months and talking and reciting the alphabet at a year. So because you are still not crawling, or pulling yourself into standing position I worry. I guess it just comes with the territory of being a mother. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with you I have worried in some way or the other. For the first few months it was about miscarrying you, for the next few months until your ultrasound it was if you were healthy and developing perfectly. After the ultrasound it was worrying about you getting strangled with your cord. After your birth I worried about SIDs and brain damage, fires in the middle of the night and the list goes on and on and continues to change for each stage of your life.
You continue to be tall and skinny. You still wear some 3-6 month onsies and dresses, all 6 month clothes and if I haven't done laundry for awhile you will wear a 9 month outfit but of course it drowns you. At such a young age you have already begun to struggle with your pants being to big around the waist and too short in the legs. Your dad and I both can empathize, we have been struggling with that issue our whole lives, well up until now. Oh and your hair has really started to sprout all over your head, long very brown strands that curl in the back when wet. I can even put barrets and bows in it without glue or a headband. Speaking of headbands I am still not ready to give them up but you seem to be bound and determined to get rid of them. As soon as I put a headband on your head you reach up and pull it right off. It drives me crazy. I have tried telling you no and you just smile and quickly reach up and pull it off. I have tried telling you no and holding your hands down but as soon as I let go and turn my back you laugh and yank it off again. This lasts about five minutes until I give up and you are victorious.
You have really discovered your feet over the last few weeks and we call them your "monkey feet". Your feet have become very useful and you have begun to hold your bottle with them, pick up blocks and toys. Like I said they are your monkey feet.
As the sun begins to shine more and summer wears on your dad and I have both become very aware that you were lucky enough to get your daddy's complextion and not mine. You can tan without even trying. I always have you in the shade or lathered in sunscreen but it seems to make no difference in your tan. I must admit my jealousy since I have to make a trip to the spray tan once a week.
We continue on the painful road of teething, all of us. As you suffer with soar gums, achs and pains, and lots of diarhea dad and I have to listen and deal with the crying and whining that really almost makes me loose my mind. Your bottom two teeth came in a few months ago now your top tew are making their appearance. I think we will both be happy when its over.
It makes me so sad to know that in just a few short months you will no longer be my little baby anymore but my little toddler. Time passes so quickly and I feel like it is speeding up the older you get. I pulled out your hat the other day that you received in the hospital when you were born and couldn't believe you really were once that small. I really miss who you once were but I am very excited to see who you will become.
Love you forever...
Like you for always...
As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.
mom
7 comments:
Doesn't the time just fly by? She is such a sweetie! I worry about my abilities as a mother too. You will do awesome though!
love her...love you...love the Grahams!
Oh this was so good! Don't be worried if she's not crawling yet, I'm sure when she learns she'll pick it up like she's been crawling forever! I constantly worry my baby isn't developing skills like she should. It's a mothers constant worry. She's getting so big! Time does go too fast!!
You'll be a great mom to more than one, one day. You have a few things on your side to help Evie and future kids become great. You have a great husband, the gospel, and prayer.
She is so cute. I wish we lived closer. Maybe Dez could learn to be a little more content without me by her side all the time.
So, I was reading a pregnancy site and this quote made me think of you.
"If you're worried about being a good mom, you probably have nothing to worry about. My husband keeps telling me that bad mothers don't worry about whether or not they'll be good moms."
I'm sure you are a great mom!
What a sweet mom you are. And sweet baby you have! I love that she slurps noodles, that's great. Also, don't worry about the crawling yet, I don't think she's even approaching the "behind" in development mark. Dan didn't crawl til a year and they kept telling me not to worry, that he'd figure it out when he wanted to. And he's totally fine now.
You're such a sweet mama. And that running stroller is bomb! I'm going to have to get one of those someday :)
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