it has been a rough week...
take that back. it has been a rough couple of weeks.
have you ever heard the saying "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"?
well in our house it goes something like "if genevieve ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"
you can't blame the poor thing...
colds
teething
the flu
it isn't her fault but after being up and down all night long for two weeks straight my exhausted and overwhelmed mind begins to start wallowing in self pity.
It seems that the everyday minor frustrations that wouldn't normally ruffle my feathers become deep wounds that I sit around licking all day.
Instead of waking up with the energy to conquer the world I more often than not have been waking up feeling defeated and I just want to pull the covers over my head and sleep until Joe comes home.
While I run around all day doing whatever it is I do and Joe is busy working and trying to support our family I can't help but step back (when I am overly tired) and wonder...
if I am spending all my energy and effort trying to take care of genevieve, Joe, the house, and everything in between and Joe is spending all of his time trying to be a rock star engineer (and who can blaim him) then at the end of the day who has the energy to take care of me?
With a house payment and a baby I think Joe and I have realized how tight not only the budget but many other aspects of our lives have become, we are no longer the carefree young couple we were just a year ago. However, I'd like to say our philosophy is usually to stay positive, thank our Heavenly Father that we have choices and move forward, together... for this is what life is all about.
But when the night has been a little too long and the morning came a little too quickly I wonder if I will ever feel young and special again. Will I ever conquer my weight and slip into a brand new pair of jeans that hug my curves and make feel beautiful? Will I be able to afford a brand new pair of jeans? Will I ever be able to undress without turning away from the mirror? Will Joe and I ever be able to buy a car where I don't have to struggle for ten minutes trying to get the carseat in and out and the radio and air conditioning work? Will I be able to surprise my husband with that expensive bike he has always wanted? Will I ever again see the finished results of something I have worked so hard on and be proud of my accomplishments? Will I get my nursing degree? Will I ever clean the house and see it clean for more than an hour? and the list goes on and on and on...
Well, after all thats said I can't help to now reflect on our lives.
Sure our life is crazy... but whose isn't?
Sure we are strapped for money... but not many aren't.
Sure we are much too busy.... but we are working TOGETHER.
Sure I don't have new jeans... but my old ones still fit, at least I haven't out grown them.
Sure my house is messy... but at least we have a home.
Sure I'm fat... but I have a beautiful daughter and I wouldn't trade her for those extra pounds.
Sure our car is a POS... but we have a car.
Sure I am tired... but I wouldn't want anyone else comforting Genevieve at night.
Sure I am not the best wife... but at least I care and I try.
Sure Joe is not the best husband... but at least he cares and he tries.
Sure life is hard... but at least we have choices and the freedom to change.
Sure we don't always get along... but at least we have eachother.
I guess it just sounds like life to me.
9 comments:
Well said. That was beautiful! Wow. You have such a way of writing. It's just captivating and so dang entertaining. I sure love you! I couldn't agree with you more. Amen, sister, amen!
wow, I mean wow! You took the words right out of my mouth! Ironically I spent the whole night up with Mo while she fussed, and had throw up all over me and then had a 4 yr old with a temperature. Thanks for helping me feel better about my lack of sleep, and to keep things in perspective!
xo
Okay, let me preface this by saying I'm sorry you're having such a rough week (or couple of weeks), but girl I've got some corrections for you. "Sure I'm fat" is a BIT FAT LIE and you'd better shut your mouth or tape your fingers or something to not say that again!! And "sure I'm not the best wife" and "sure Joe's not the best husband" are also lies. You are the best wife for Joe and he is the best husband for you. You're both terrific. You sound very tired so I say ~ don't worry about your house and it's cleanliness for a few days, just take as many naps as you can get. Who cares if you feel lazy for a little while, you need your sleep more than you need a feeling of accomplishment. Love ya, lady!
Mad... i just meant Joe and I aren't perfect we are only human. ha ha. i was having a bad day I have the stomach flu and its been miserable ha ha.
I love your honesty. It seems often times people display this picture of perfection on their blogs and it can get nauseating, so this is a breath of fresh air to say you're human. We all struggle and have to be reminded of our blessings from time to time. And I don't know from experience but can only imagine that being a stay at home mom has got to be THE HARDEST job there is. Hang in there.
Thank you for saying something that I know many other people (including myself) probably feel as well. Keep your head up! And try to sneak in a nap when you can!
I know, I know, and maybe I was slightly harsh ;) in my correction, but I just would never want you to really think those things about yourself. So just consider it a reminder that you're awesome, despite your current struggles!
Oh Kenz I know how you feel. Sometimes life can be so hard and you just can't see the light, but those tend to be the times I learn the most.
I love how positive you are. And you are a very great example to me. Thank you for being a wonderful friend.
Get feeling better, and keep your chin up..
This actually makes me feel good. Its good to know that im not the only one who feels this way. Not all the time, but sometimes life is just so overwhelming.
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