One.

One year ago today my sweet Fin was born.  I remember it like it was yesterday and yet it feels like a life time ago.  read about his birth here: summer solstice, the birth of finley james.
Happy Birthday my son.  I love you more with each passing day.

Sweet dreams, little man.

Ten Months

10 months

21 lbs 50th percentile

29 inches 75th percentile

head 50th percentile

scoots at lightening speed

officially is weaned

says: mama

ah oh

ah boo

hi

can wave hi

sign milk

clap his hands

sleeps from 7 pm to 8 am

takes two 2 hour naps a day

takes three  >5 oz bottles

has four teeth and two more on the way

super ticklish

extra curious

wiggly

happy

healthy...

we'll keep him.

Sweet boy...
Eating dog poop. I swear I didn't know.

letters to Finley.

Weaning... something I have been debating since my first case of mastitis. even saying the word brings up many mixed emotions.feelings of excitement, anticipation, relief but also those of loss. Now that you and I are nearing the finish I can't help but feel so melancholy that this part in our journey together is over. This small sacred little part in our lives is coming to a close and although I know with one chapter closing another one opens, I also know in just mere months the sweet and small little moments we share together now will be a mere memory and replaced with new and different moments.
Sometimes I wish I had a shelf. A shelf tall and wide filled to the brim with jars, each holding a memory or feeling I so desperately long to hold onto. Even now it's hard to remember the exact feeling of the weight of your tiny body against my chest, or your small new born cry. It's funny how time seems to slowly erase the past, leaving you with only a faded memory if you're lucky to remember at all. I've said this many times before, I hope when I return to heaven all my memories will be fully restored, minus the unhappy ones. There I'll bask in the catalog of hugs, kisses, smiles and smells that made up my life. the memory of holding my soft slippery newborn babes will be as if it happened just moments ago. so until that day I will continue to write and preserve these moments, however small or monumental I wish to be able to look back and remember you once sported one small snaggle tooth or giggled when I tickled the spot right underneath your chin.

Yes, this time together is coming to a close and although it breaks my mama heart it just means we are about to enter a different stage in our lives. not good or bad just different.
Mom

If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.

-- Vincent van Gogh

starting over.

Do you ever wish you could start over?

I know it is cliche to say but things are just moving so fast.

I watch some of my dear friends pregnant and full of excitement for their first baby

and can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy...

 I will never have that again.

I keep telling Joe I wish we could have genevieve and fin all over again...

he looks at me like I'm crazy.  probably am.

Now I find my time nursing Finley is winding down

and another chapter will soon come to a close.

Breast feeding is just like pregnancy and birth...

you cannot know the amazing blessings and hardships that come with it

until you have experienced it for yourself.

Feeding my baby hasn't been the easiest thing for me,

but I continue to persevere because I love him. 

Each day I look forward to the moments I get to sit in Finley's quiet room, sun streaming through the window, baby in arm, listening to soft and steady gulping. 

 Something only I can do, and only Fin and I share.

Someday I hope his wife will read these words as she rocks and nurses her babe, my gran-baby, and relishes in this amazing experience that only a mother can give her child.

Something Finley will never understand.

It is true we cannot start over but we can stop and enjoy

those gulping noses or the eyes heavy with sleep

snaggle tooth smiles and soft baby skin.

Motherhood isn't easy,

 but just like anything in this world,

the things you have to work hardest for are worth having.

firsts

this christmas was fin's first time in the water...

like with everything he beamed and smiled

1..2..3... under he goes.  

brave little boy, not a tear.

splish splash

more babes in the bath

The sweetest thing...

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Morning naps

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mornings with the babes

it's been so exciting to watch fin and genevieve's relationship develop.

only recently have they become interested in one another.

fin is mesmerized by Genevieve

and genevieve is actually beginning to play with him.

this morning i looked over to see a sweet sight.

genevieve had made a table and was making "dinner" for finley

she wasn't bonking him on the head, she wasn't hugging him too tight, 

she was actually playing with him

and they both loved it!

could they look any different?

what a sight to see, i love my babies.

xoxo

Good night

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halloween (belated)

halloween was spent with lots of friends and neighbors

a hamburger and hot dog

candy

and warm weather...

when asked what genevieve was for Halloween she would excitedly say:

"I a hangabur and finnie's a hock gog"

our cute friend Krista made genevieve a "candy purse" but she carried it around 

so many places before Halloween we couldn't find it when the day arrived...

so the "fishy purse" filled in.

genevieve's very best friends, both one year older so they take good care of her.

aaron who lives directly across the street and hunter who lives right next door

she is always asking to play with hunter and aaron and before bed she looks out the window

and yells "night aaron, night hunter"

ms. becca and the kiddos

the weather was so warm this year. after trick or treating we spent the rest of the evening

sitting on the front porch handing out candy and talking with neighbors

genevieve felt it was necessary to put on her floaty and ride around on her "vroom vroom"

getting very very sleepy

happy halloween 

from the yummiest hamburger and hot dog around

Morning

Sunshine

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is this what heaven looks like?

baby blue

When I was a young spring chicken I use to sit on the cute boy next door's bed and study while he sat at his computer, did homework and sang, mostly country and mostly george strait's "baby blue" .  His deep voice penetrating the silence of the room. Now, I can't help thinking of this song and simpler times every time I look into these baby blues.